By divine order Mary Lackie came into my life when I was 14 years old. Susan invited me home for dinner on some random fall evening. None of us could have imagined that this casual dinner was the beginning of a 40+ year journey that our lives would take together.
This was in 1966 in Atlanta Ga. It was the first time I had been a guest in a white family's home. Susan and I were classmates and met in 9th grade Latin class. Our 'otherness' made us instant friends--I was the only black in the class and she was a displaced yankee!
What struck me that evening and what I experienced every time I saw Mary was how delighted she was to see any guest enter her home. She was a warm and welcoming host. There was always something cooking in the kitchen. She was so interested in how you were doing, and was a delightful conversationalist. No matter what was being discussed, within minutes Mary evoked her humor and wit.
One never knew who would show up at Mary's for dinner. There were always family friends, seminarians, neighbors (that did not always live in the neighborhood--you were never a stranger to Mary for long). Good food, rollicking conversation, root beer for the youngsters and spirits for the adults--were the ingredients for a great evening. Then there were the games!! I learned more card games than I can even now remember and splayed out more Scrabble tiles than I could ever recapture, around the game tables in Mary's home.
As I reflect, I learned so much sitting in Mary's kitchen:
--first and foremost how to make Melting Moments! The very best cookie treat. There were dozen of other dishes that I learned to make from Mary, and she would always send me home with the recipe printed in her handwriting on an index card.
--second the art of verbal discourse--listening and learning from others. Everyone has a story and we learn so much when we listen to theirs.
--how believing the right thing is good--living your principles is even better. When Mary became a teacher she could easily have taught in one of the 'safe' north Atlanta schools where the students looked like her. She instead taught at the Downtown Learning Center, which has now become Cities in Schools, where runaway and throwaway kids are given a second chance. If anyone has seen the movie Precious, you will recognize Mary's character played out there. She accepted the students where they were, embued them with a belief in themselves, and celebrated with them in successes big and small.
I was in sitting with Mary in her kitchen in April 1968 as she was packing up homemade yeast rolls to take over to Coretta Scott King's home the
weekend after Dr. King was killed. The Mayor of the City was telling everyone to stay calm and indoors during this 'national crises'. Mary was responding to a grieving widow with 4 young children.
There are some many other lessons that Mary, the perennial teacher taught me--the fine art of garage sales shopping, growing plants from cuttings, and mirrors placed strategically in a room shifted the focal point--but I'll save those for future postings.
I was blessed to see her on Valentine's weekend 2009 when I came to visit her in Redlands. Once again we had great conversations and shared lots of memories. When I came into her kitchen that last morning on my way to the airport, the mixing bowls were on the counter. She handed me a bag with 2 dozen melting moments that she had baked that morning, along with the recipe, printed in her handwriting on an index card.
Mary's life was one well-lived. She lived not to acquire and save, but to give and invest in others. The return on her investments will show up in the lives of others for generations to come!
Thank God for Mary's life on this earth..
Deborah
